Right! This is all very silly! This show about a "Flying Circus." I'm not sure what that flying bit is all about! I don't really see anything flying, except for those sheep who thought they were birds. And those silly cartoons have things flying all around. And what's this business about spam? What's so funny about spam? I happen to think it is great. So does my good friend Johann Gambolputty de von Ausfern- schplenden- schlitter- crasscrenbon- fried- digger- dingle- dangle- dongle- dungle- burstein- von- knacker- thrasher- apple- banger- horowitz- ticolensic- grander- knotty- spelltinkle- grandlich- grumblemeyer- spelterwasser- kurstlich- himbleeisen- bahnwagen- gutenabend- bitte- ein- nurnburger- bratwustle- gernspurten- mitz- weimache- luber- hundsfut- gumberaber- shonedanker- kalbsfleisch- mittler- aucher von Hautkopft of Ulm, and he's not a silly person.
Well here are the places on this page you can go to. They're silly, if you ask me!
Who or what is Monty Python?
Did I just hear you say you didn't know who or what Monty Python is?!?!? Oh! Well, then I had better get my ears checked.
Pictures
Movie Pictures Monty Python and the Holy Grail
Flying Circus/Completely Different/Live Pictures
Sounds
Movie Sounds
Monty Python and the Holy Grail
Head Knight of Ni - "We are the Knights who Say 'Ni!'" - 21K Head Knight of Ni - "We shall say 'Ni!' again to you if you do not appease us!" - 28K Head Knight of Ni - "Ni!" - 3K Head Knight of Ni - "We want. . . a shrubbery!" (dramatic chord) - 40K Head Knight of Ni - "You must cut down the mightiest tree in the forest... wiiiiiiith....a herring!" (dramatic chord) - 48K French Knight - "No chance English bedwetting types!" - 13K French Knight - "Go and boil your bottoms, sons of a silly person!" - 23K French Knight - "Now go away, or I shall taunt you a second time!" - 22K Sir Galahad - "What a strange person." - 9K Brother Maynard - "Consult the book of Armaments!" - 9K Father - "Oh, bloody hell." - 5K Father - "One day, lad, all this will be yours." Herbert - "What the curtains?" Father - "No, not the curtains, lad!" - 32K Monks Chant - 63K Sir Robin - "What's he do? Nibble your bum?" - 9K Tim the Enchanter - "Death awaits you all with nasty, big, pointy teeth!" - 28K King Arthur - "You know much that is hidden, oh Tim"Tim the Enchanter - "Quite." - 19K Sir Robin - "You tit! I soiled my armour I was so scared!" - 22K
The Life of Brian
Mandy - "Is this some kind of joke?" - 12K Wise Man #1 - "We must see him! We have brought presents!" Mandy - "Out!" Wise Man #2 - "Gold. Frankincense. Myrrh." Mandy - "Well, why didn't you say? He's over there." - 40K Wise Man #1 - "We are three wise men." Mandy - "Well, what are you doing creeping around a cow shed at two o'clock in the morning? That doesn't sound very wise to me." - 38K Reg - "Piss-off!" - 6K Centurion - "Crucifixion lasts hours! It's a slow horrible death!"Matthias - "Well at least it gets you out in the open air. - 41K Centurion"Have you ever seen anyone crucified?" Matthias - "Crucifixion's a doddle."Centurion"Don't keep saying that." - 25K Centurion - "Weirdo!" - 6K Centurion - "We'll be back. . . oddball." - 18K Matthias - "You haven't given us time to hide!" - 12K Mandy - "Go away!" - 8K Mandy - "He's not the Messiah! He's a very naughty boy!" - 22K Pilate - "Thwow him to the floor!" - 14K Brian - "I'm not Jewish, I'm a Roman!" Pilate - "A Woman?" Brian - "No, no. Roman." [smack!] Brian - "Ahhh!" - 32K Idle - "Move along, Bignose! There's people waiting to be crucified out here!" - 23K
The Meaning of Life
"Yeah so, during the night old Perkins got his leg bitten sort of. . . off!" - 30K "Find the Fish!" - 7K "I wonder where that fish has gone." - 25K "And it went wherever I. . . did go." - 27K "Hello. Uh, can we have your liver?" - 11K "And, uh, get the machine that goes 'Ping!'" - 15K
Flying Circus Sounds
"G'day Bruce" - 5K "Albatross!" - 8K "Is your wife a goer? Eh? Know what I mean? Know what I mean? Nudge, nudge! Know what I mean? Say no more!" - 31K "Nobody expects the Spanish Inquisition! Our weapon is suprise. Suprise and Fear." - 34K "Get. . . the comfy chair!" [music] - 71K "The soft cushons!" [ Jarring chord] - 22K Petshop customer - "Pining for the fjords?" - 12K Gumby 1 - [Crash] "Ooohh, my brain hurts!" Gumby 2 - "Shut up!" - 24K Gumby 1 - "Come in!" [Crash!] "Oh, open the door and come in!" Gumby 2 - "Sorry!" Gumby 3 - "Hello!" Gumby 2 - "Sorry!" - 55K Customer - "Hello, I would like to buy a fish license, please." - 17K Shopkeeper - "You've got a pet halibut?" Customer - "Yes. I chose him out of thousands. I didn't like the others, they were all too flat." Shopkeeper - "You must be a looney." - 41K Wife - "Have you got anything without spam?" Spam waitress - "Well there's spam egg sausage and spam. That's not got much spam in it." - 36K "How not to be seen." - 11K Sgt. Cleese - "Now! It's quite simple to deal with a banana fiend! First of all, you force him to drop the banana! Then, you eat the banana! Thus, disarming him! You have now rendered him 'elpless!" - 78K Palin - "Suppose he's got a bunch?" Cleese - "Shut up!" Idle - "Suppose he's got a pointed stick?" Cleese - "Shut up!" - 36K Colonel - "Right! Stop that! It's silly! Very silly indeed." - 26K "What a great twit!" - 12K
Songs The Lumberjack Song - 930K Flying Circus Theme - 177K The Spam Song - 235K Eric the Half-a-bee - 715K Brave Sir Robin (midi version) - 3K I Like Traffic Lights - 632K
Scripts
Links
